Tag Archives: Thoughts

Chennai : Battered and humbled !

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Battered,Nature indeed is the greatest leveller and the greatest teacher. The flood fury has taught us just that. The lessons we learnt are simple – humility, humanity, resilience and compassion.

The so called conservative Chennai folks simply led by an extraordinary example with open doors and hearts, doing every single bit possible to hold up each other in a crisis that cannot be well explained. We survived nearly a week of no power, no network, no water, no supplies, no cash, no ATMs, no card transactions in outlets and all that was found in plentiful other than the flooded water was simply humanity on ground and virtually. In a crisis you know who your friends really are and there was pouring support physically from the neighbouring states and virtually from folks world wide.

Even those of us, who could not get on ground helped the situation by prayers, positivity, thoughts and through social media.

Am particularly inspired today as I write, not by people from the books we read about, but by my own friends, family, neighbours who have done humongous job in every single way possible. Thank you all. You are the unsung heroes who saved the day. Heart warming stories of rescue efforts from hitherto unlikely sources like fishermen, military personnel, corporation sewer men, by volunteers, who gave their all for people whom they don’t even know, shall outlive its life in the memories of those whose life was touched by them.

I trust there is a little something in everyone that makes the world go around and the Chennai floods has clearly shown us that. Nature has tempered us immensely. Though all is not well and the pain of those who lost their dear ones, property and much more, may not heal for a long time to come, I believe we will pull it off together some how, some day, some way !

A lifetime to create
A moment to destroy
All that remains
Are broken dreams and broken hearts
Yet like a phoenix we shall soar
Although right now we feel so low
And tomorrow shall be the day
If it isn’t today!
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Ouch…it hurts !

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DSC_0942“Not all scars show, not all wounds heal.  Sometimes you cant see the pain someone else feels”

I read this somewhere recently and it struck a chord.  My expressions on this emotion : PAIN

I look up into a night , devoid of stars
I am overcome with an urge to reach out to the void
Sheer space sans definition of any kind
Could sometimes be a solace to an aching heart
That wants to feel no pain, no hate, no love
Just sheer plain  ‘nothing’!

That crouching agony
Those sleepless nights
A soulless living
When death seems inviting than life!

The undying scars
The lessons you never wished to be taught,
The impermanence of feelings that glares on your face
The negativity that follows you like a trail !

The insignificance of the being called you
The slow yet sure tempering of the ego in you!

You came alone
And so shall you leave
Its worth to build some grace
And find your peace !

My Dad & I

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Recently while I was checking for something on my email account, I stumbled upon a mail from dad in April 2009. It was a picasa album of his visit to Germany,his only trip abroad. I don’t know how I had passed it then, but had. The pics were so perfect, the narration impeccable…ought to be, from someone like him. But my heart tore, as he is not a part of this world any more.

They say time heals. In a way, its true. Life goes on. But what people leave behind make a ocean of a difference to those around. When you miss people it is not necessarily, the physical aspects of men and matter . Its in the smallest of things, in the beautiful memories and the inspiring moments.

Unfortunate though, to a man who meant the world to me, i dont think I did enough. I had never been that expressive kind of person with feelings (until I found some respite in blogging). Anyways, fact is, I had never felt a need to express and I would like to believe what a friend said – they know, parents always know.

The last blog he read of mine was an inspired poetry called ‘best friends’. He read it just before he left to the hospital for his first time admission for a tumour treatment and all he said was “I think you are missing your best friend but you always have the option of also choosing your parents to be one”. I just totally scoffed at the idea in my ever so usual manner of ‘Oh come on!’ (little did i realise i would lose him in a month from then).

And yet…today am inspired to write about him and am not going to resist myself from the flow… He made me feel so special and worthy. He was always ready to talk to me about things and hear anything I say (which over a period of time was practically very little). He was my reference point on anything I wanted to know. I still remember I learnt the meaning of the F letter word from him. Someone mentioned it at my school as an unutterable word and I went back to check with him. If he was surprised, he never showed. He simply gave an example of what a pair of street dogs did a couple of days back and said humans do similar things and proliferation happens, and that it was a slang.

Sometimes when you see a man living a life of a Buddha you do not want to accept it. Not because it isn’t obvious but because in practicality you think Buddhas are not made for real worlds (my poor version of real world here). Such was my take on my dad.

But am the proudest daughter today to say I grew up with a person who simply by his deeds showed how life is to be lived .   He stayed humble, curious (with a highly scientific bent of mind) and strong, facing life alike in adversity or otherwise.  He had no regrets and carried no unnecessary baggages. He had an unimaginable way of treating everyone with love no matter what. Somehow he was simply incapable of finding shortcomings in anyone. If he found value in doing something for someone he would do it – no matter who it was.  He was always abreast of the happenings around and would never sit idle.   Learning, doing & serving – in other words simply living without further thoughts – that pretty much sums him.

Here is something I wish to say to anyone reading this.   Its easy to believe life would always be the way it is. But, everything will change and there will be a time when the very things you thought were yours will be no more. Retrospective thoughts and theories are futile.   A big difference a human can make is in the way he lives, and in the way he makes his people feel….worthwhile, special or otherwise!

There are times you feel hollow

Like a life without a soul

When you lose someone

Who inspires you the most!

 

In such times though you grope for words

They feel so shallow

And justice it does not,

To express the depth

Of the way you felt!

 

But true gratitude or in memory of

Would be to immortalize

The best of the values you learnt from them

By passing it on to the rest of the world…

Then the flame of their wonderful memories

And good life, would go around

And live a befitting life, in the souls of men

Who would never let them die !

When their magic wand is yours !

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Some folks walk into your life

They discover how special you are

They revel in the difference you make to them

And slowly, they give away a piece of themselves

Without as much as second thoughts ,

For they find in you the safest place

To place their own precious magic wands!

 

 

Alas they don’t tell you these are magical

And made of trust or friendship or love or bountiful goodness in thought

That can make them or break them

And that whatever you choose to do with it,

They will never be the same again !

 

 

Their wand is yours now

You could flood them with inexpressible joy

Inspire them with your thoughts and deeds

Create an infectious happiness viral

That could eternally drift around

All thanks to you !

 

 

Try, just try, to do a little of it, if not all

And see when even a little could mean a lot !

Try, just try, to believe & watch them soar

And witness the wonders, only sheer trust could unfold!

 

 

Light up !

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DSC_0359May your life illuminate
With sparkles of joy and cheer
May the lights
Dispel the gloom of ignorance and fear!

 

May you find the strength
To light up your lives
By fighting the right fights
And create a future shining bright !

 

May you ignite the fire within you
In your quest to understand the real you
May the lights within ring in the truth
And may you experience eternal bliss !

Paradise or Parasite?

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I was yet another bemused soul quietly leading my life, drifting from one world to another…the real, the surreal, the imaginative ones…..when suddenly…..

Lights ! Camera ! Action !

The stage was all mine. The audience were all mine.   The action began.   Before I knew it, I was performing . Some of them laughed, some scorned, some enjoyed, some did not care, some left, some came in….but the stage was mine, the platform was mine and the audience too were mine…..I was greeted into another world, the virtual one !

Now after living in it for a while, am wondering if our virtual world is a paradise or a parasite? And am thinking on all sides.

A paradise it is, considering that my dearest folks over the oceans and the skies are technically not more than a call or a ping away. My world has shrunk to minute proportions, thanks to telecom and the virtual medias. The facebook, the twitters and the whatsapps make it so easy for me to glide into an alternate world painting a personality with colours of my choice, sprucing them up the way I want and send virtual perceptions of the life I live in.   It is just so easy to share, discuss, learn, update, gossip, have fun and be on top of the happenings in our little worlds like a “I-cyclopedia” of ‘Whats hot & Whats not’!.  I scream aaaachoooo & I have a whole bang of friends & family on my digital world enquiring and sharing empathy.  Virtual indulgence and holding limelight gives a sort of high. Its much easier to rub shoulders, make friends and whisper sweet nothings to those who matter and even those who don’t.

 

But does it also carry a price? I think, it does. At times, I feel it’s a time sucking parasite.   It sort of saps time and energy and is invariably addictive, to me.     It eats into moments that could otherwise have been different, possibly, pleasantly different. I ask myself ‘Are my senses are getting tuned to a different type of craving ?’ – a need to be heard by many, a need to share a slice of my life with others, a need to raise the voice, a need to participate, etc , etc.  A friend of mine used to tell me, his wife always thought his blackberry was a devil’s instrument for he was forever fiddling with the mails or attending calls. I don’t think she is far from right ! Are all of these devils’ instruments ? I don’t know. It depends on who is holding it and the discipline he shows, I suppose.  I have a skill to learn – to manipulate all of these worlds for a optimal life balance.

Whats your take?

Silence Speaks !

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Silence , an inner voice whispering without a noise,
Language stemming from way within
With infinite connotations,
Leaving  scope  for indefinite deliberations !
 
It is elegant silence,
When verbal expressions are denounced
So as to not hurt someone
And impulsive assaults held back
To save the moment !

It is pseudo silence
When it appears to be calm and serene,
But right underneath, a volcano is brewing beneath !
                         
It is enigmatic silence
When its meant to keep speculations strife
And grapewines live
What with the telltales and the hearsays!

It is strategic silence
When used as a stealth weapon
To avoid an onslaught or to save a war
Or to manipulate in desired ways
By the crafty and the ace!
 
It is vicious silence, if meant to harm
When yielded like a sword, without a word
Cutting through layers, sans even pincers.

 

It is noble silence,
When in deepest reverie we are struck by some thoughts profound ,
When we feel so at bliss,
When we relive the moments that we so cherish,
That teaches us such a lot
And it feels shallow to express
For it can never justify what it felt
May be, its illumination, at its best !