Tag Archives: Kindness

Grace in the time of grief !

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It is not something I would write about on a normal day. And yet, it is something that touched me. I write this to remind myself, that even in the most unlikeliest of situations, grace is possible.

A very very dear friend of mine lost her husband exactly two weeks ago in a road accident, when he was heading back home after a bikers trip. This happened in a place a few hours away from the city. A local called up the last dialed number and traced the family, meanwhile their bikers group went back and did all they could to bring the mortal remains, with some family members help.

It was unexpected, cruel and unnerving. My friend was totally inconsolable. The children refused to believe it happened. His daughter refused to see his face. I grieved, like never before, that day. Theirs was a cross community marriage, my friend, a Tamilian married to a Bengali. He was the only son to his parents. His parents were quite old and his father was already undergoing treatment for cancer for several years. My friend was dreading to tell his parents about it. They were flying down, unaware that he had passed away. They were told he was hurt as under the circumstances that seemed a better option until they came down.

So apart from grief, there was a certain restlessness in everybodys mind as to how his parents would take it. My friend was nerve wrecked.   Finally a couple of hours before the cremation time their flight landed. One of his family members, who went to pick them up was informed to sound them off before they reached home.

So they walked in, informed during the journey from the airport, of their loss. His mother, was naturally shaken and grieving. His father, an old man went to his son, looked at him for a while and then reached out to his daughter in law with a warm hug and said, “we lost our son but we still have our daughter and grandchildren. Now you mean the world to us. We are with you and will always be”. That, and I mean that, graceful gesture turned around the terse atmosphere. He called for his grandchildren. Again their granddaughter refused to come. So he went out to meet his grandchildren, spoke to them, like a man, a dad, hugged them, assured them and came in. He then tried to understand what happened and went with the flow, cremation rituals, etc.

Had he reacted any other way, had he broken down at his age, it would have worsened the situation that already was. Surely he grieved too. But he knew it was beyond him and went on to handling this crisis in a kind way. I was deeply touched by his graceful act, in this most unlikely situation.   Somehow it reinstated in me, that sometimes a little act of selfless kindness could make a lot of difference.

Come on man, have a heart !

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Today is apparently World Heart Day! My thoughts here drift simply to its symbolic representation in today’s world and absolute adoration for the soul who coined the heart logo. Think about it, its not just a complex organ even a realistic representation would require some artistic skills.  So, this Jack (of hearts) who came along, inspired perhaps by a betel leaf and coined a heart logo, totally holds my awe and adoration right now, for the sheer simplicity in representation !   Now moving on from here –

Billions of hearts around
In a biological sense indeed
Yet isn’t it the beauty in it
That we incessantly seek?

“Oh man, have a heart, listen to how I feel !”
“He hath no heart, for he hears not, to the rhythms of my beat!”
These are usual verses we hear
When we eavesdrop into hearts’ territory!

Beautiful are those
That withstands (metaphorically) the sands of time
And not wither away
By circumstances and deeds
Nesting bountiful spaces
Of love, compassion and empathy!

Hearts steeled up with ego
Quoted with pride
Hardened by rough weather and bitter pasts
Grope in darkness
Yearning to see day light !

The stellar kinds are those
That pursue kindness as breath itself
And touch peoples lives’ with its random acts,
Through selfless service and humble gestures,
They shine like the brightest star
With undiminishing charm !

What has come, will happen to pass
So a lingering hatred in the heart
Is a definite faux pas !

Come on man,
Give a piece of  your heart not mind !
‘Yeh Dil Maange More’ guarantees no peace
Try ‘Yeh Dil Dhenge more’ and ring in bliss, joy & eternal harmony!